Eric’s Ephemera

Training in Lincoln, NE

So … I finally got into to Lincoln at 10:30 pm. (I was supposed to be here around 4:30). When I flew into Detroit, I checked the departures board, found the flight from Detroit to Lincoln, and headed for gate C16 (in a separate concourse). When I finally got to the C gates, I checked the board again and … canceled (mechanical difficulties).

So … I called work, called the airline, called the travel agency, and was re-booked for a flight out of Detroit the next morning, getting me to Lincoln at noon. Not helpful. Plus, no bags. So … with hotel vouchers in hand, I started wandering until I got a call back from work. Apparently, my boss was also stuck in Detroit, so … we teamed up and tried to find another way.

Eventually, we decided to book separate flights to Omaha (not our destination!) and then take a cab from Omaha to Lincoln. My flight got into Omaha around 8:30, but my baggage didn’t. So … after an hour drive to Lincoln, here I sit in the hotel room, hoping the airline will deliver my luggage soon so that I have something to wear for tomorrow’s training. And I’m exhausted. And that’s a lot of So’s …

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Onsite Review in Sheridan, WY

I’ll be providing “onsite technical assistance” for the Wyoming Child and Family Services Review (CFSR) all week. My review site is Sheridan, a tiny town surrounded by mountains and half-an-hour from Big Horn National Park.

I left early this morning (6/8) and will be coming back early Friday morning (6/13). And no … it’s not lost on me that I’ll be flying back on Friday the 13th, but a) I’m generally not superstitious, and b) if I think about 13 at all, I usually think of it as a lucky number.

I had to be at the airport by 4 a.m. to make sure I made the 6 a.m. flight. It was a crowded big-jet ride to Denver where I spent a four-hour layover. The ride from Denver to Sheridan was a completely different experience. A two-prop plane, seating 30-ish but holding 20-ish, dropping and shaking over the mountain ranges. It felt more like we water skiing than flying, the way the plan seem to slide and skip over the pockets of air. I was glad to be tired: I think my exhaustion took some of the edge off.

The hotel is nice, though: nice lobby, free wireless, Starbucks coffee, pool and gym. Sheridan is surrounded by mountains and green with tall grass and groves of trees. I wasn’t expecting the temperature change: 55° F and windy. I showed up in the shorts and flip-flops of DC’s 100° humidity.

I’m a bit nervous about my responsibilities. I’m the “go to guy” for any technical or logistical problems. Since this is my first review, I’m not sure what to expect, and not sure I’ll have the solutions. Luckily, there are many people on “backup” just a phone call away, and I expect to be calling often.

Time to relax …

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Given the end of all things ...

I’ve been reading Natalie Angier’s book The Canon: A Whirligig Tour of the Beautiful Basics of Science. In one section, Angier discusses the life of a heavy quark particle, which lasts a picosecond. A picosecond is a trillionth of a second, or 10^-12. To give you some perspective, light can travel the length of three football fields in a microsecond, or 10^-6, while sound can barely travel the width of a human hair in the same amount of time. So a picosecond is damn quick.

Anyway, during that picosecond-long life span of a heavy quark:

… the quark completes a trillion, or 10¹², extremely tiny orbits. By contrast … our seemingly indomitable Earth has completed a mere 5 times 10⁹ orbits around the sun in its 5 billion years of existence, and is expected to tally up maybe another 10 billion laps before the solar system crumples and dies. (emphasis added)

That statement somewhat defeated me in all sorts of ways. This is a reality that can easily lead to despair and purposelessness. (Though she offers the First Law of Thermodynamics as a salve. Think pantheism without the god-talk. More on this is probably coming soon.)

Given the end of everything, what are we doing anything for? I mean, ultimately, even if we create some work of art to outlive us, something that’s passed down throughout all remaining generations, eventually it and everything else is going to not be anymore. And most likely, the vast majority of us and the things we do will be forgotten in a few hundred years at most … even if we’re currently famous. (Seriously: how many leading actors from the 50s can the typical modern-day twenty-something name?)

But this also suggests a few other things to me …

Whatever we’re doing, we should (at least mostly) be doing it for the enjoyment of the doing. The “process, not the product” approach. Angier quoting Annie Dillard: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” The “sieze the day” and all that. But I mean, really, given the end of all things (and the absurd brevity of our lives) why would we spend any more time than absolutely necessary doing something we didn’t find value in? Which leads me to another thing …

What one person finds valuable, another will not. For example, some may say: given the end of all things, I will live a life of pleasure … or, I will live a life of service … or, I will live a life of spiritual pursuit. (The Hindus covered all of this thousands of years ago.)

In the past, I would tend to judge some pursuits as better than others, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’m starting to lean more toward the Wiccan Rede: “An’ it harm none, do what ye will.” I find it more helpful than the Golden Rule, actually, which supposes that morality is based on personal preferences. After all, who’s to say that what I would “have done to me” is what others would want done to them!? Better, I think, to focus on not harming others … including not getting in the way of them finding and experiencing as much value as possible in this short, short life. The Rede also prevents abuse: don’t get in the way of someone’s pursuits unless those pursuits bring harm to others. And we can’t abandon the responsibility of not causing harm because we share this brief time with others who can think and feel. You need nothing more than this to advocate a basic morality (and easily call bullshit on “cultural relativism”).

Though it sounds selfish, it’s not. If we truly believe in the vastness of existence, the brevity of life, and the interconnectedness of all things (these are all scientific positions), then some moral position asserts itself. The vastness and brevity should compel humility. The interconnectedness should combat selfishness. The logical recognition of this should encourage laws that protect the freedom of the individual so long as that freedom does not permit harm to others. If we all lived with these realizations and by this maxim, I truly believe that life for all people would greatly improve. (Particularly as these general realizations filter down into the minutiae of life: e.g., by purchasing this product, you support a company that severely hinders the pursuit of a valuable life for others in another country … now what?)

Find your own value, and try to enjoy even the process of discovery. I’m still not sure what I want to “be” when I grow up. I do know this, though: I want to enjoy the process of discovering it. Or better, enjoy the process of finding the things that have value and meaning to me. Some people recognize what they value early and spend their lives pursuing that thing. Wonderful. Some people never figure it out, but spend their lives valuing one thing, then another, then another. Equally wonderful. What would be dreadful: spending a life on things that hold no substantial personal value.

Unfortunately but unavoidably, we must do some things so that we can do others. I think that’s self-explanatory, and it wards off the excessive reaction of absolute abandon in the face of the void.

So for me … it reinforces my belief in pursuing a balanced life, continuing to write and create regardless of the outcome (because ultimately, the writing won’t last), continuing to learn about and engage in educational issues (because education can help add value to our collective existence), continuing to stay informed about and active in social welfare issues, and continuing to appreciate and enjoy family, friends, and picoseconds.

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Stuck and Grumpy

I am a grumpy bystander who can’t take my desired “next steps” because no one will buy my house. Nevertheless, I think this guy is right:

The vast majority of homeowners will remain well ahead, even after the market corrects for housing inflation …

Not long ago there was broad agreement that … the principal impediment to homeownership was … the prevalence of high housing prices. Hence deflation of housing prices would be desirable.

He’s also right about this:

The 96 percent of mortgage borrowers who are fulfilling their commitments, often by scrimping, may be grumpy bystanders if many of the other 4 percent — those who found the phrase “variable rate” impenetrably mysterious — are eligible for ameliorations of their obligations.

Which is not to say that the lending agencies don’t also deserve to get spanked for their shady practices.

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No Sale

Our last hope for selling the house any time soon just blew out the window. Turns out, in the midst of this tough market for sellers, my county has decided to make it harder for buyers, too. Would-be home buyers now have to put down 15% … a ridiculously high sum that can only make the situation worse. The possible buyer we met with on Monday liked the house, liked the price, but just couldn’t get the $40K+ for the down payment.

Sigh.

So now we can either wait it out here or rent the place and go. Renting means taking a gamble that we’ll get (and keep) good renters, but also makes it possible that we can make a decent amount on the house when (if?) the market recovers.

Decisions, decisions. Meanwhile, off to North Dakota to deliver a training …

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Losing Friends to Foreign Fields

I learned over the last few weeks that three friends of mine (and a baby) will be going overseas to teach at international schools next school year. One is going to Chile, the other two (a couple with child) will be going to Kuwait. I’m excited for all of them, though also a little envious that they’re getting out of Woodbridge before I am. I’m also a little concerned for the couple moving to Kuwait: not exactly an easy place for Americans and/or females. I’m hoping for the best, though, and look forward to following their adventures on Facebook, blogs, etc.

Other than that, things have been slow. Just hanging out with friends and family: shooting some pool, catching up with former teacher colleagues at happy hour, and a night of poker and board games. Meanwhile, Thuraya is researching best next steps for pursuing the acting dream while I search for job possibilities in L.A., study films I like as models, and start on the screenplay.

One bit of good news from a realtor/friend: apparently this is a good area for renting given the constant flow of military through this area. She said her last rental went in three days. Once our plans are a bit more solid, I’ll be meeting with her to discuss the “property business” as she calls it.

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Where I Think I'm Going Now

Every so often, I do some writing about where I think I’m headed in life.  It usually changes, sometimes drastically, from entry to entry.  The last few times I did this, the changes were on the drastic side: from thinking I would sell my house and travel, to freaking out because the house wasn’t selling, to picking up consulting and adjunct professor work, to going full time into the corporate world.

This time, I’m hoping any future entries will be mostly in line with what I’m about to write because I feel genuinely confident, for the first time, about the kind of life I’d like to have.  There are many pieces from previous thoughts, but they finally seem to fit together and feel right.  So here it is …

Writing

Regardless of success or failure, I want to continue writing and pursuing publication.  I’m mainly interested in screenplays, but also want to continue writing stories, dabbling in poetry, and one day perhaps try comics and novels.  It would be perfect if I could sell a few screenplays and use that money to support my writing in other genres and to take the pressure off the teaching salary (see below).  It would also be fantastic if I could work on set occasionally, even if all I do is watch the process and get coffee for the director.

Teaching

Regardless of my writing success, I’ll always feel like a teacher and be passionately concerned about and interested in education.

I’ve been really fortunate in my current corporate position–it’s really an ideal corporate job for me: I do things I like to do (develop online content and deliver technology training), I like my boss and the people I work with, the work is for a good cause, it pays well, and I get to travel frequently.  I couldn’t ask for more.  And yet, it’s not something I would want to do for the rest of my life, and I don’t feel the personal investment and excitement that I do when working as a teacher.  If I can have a near-perfect corporate job and not be able to see myself there in the long-term, then corporate work must truly not be for me.

As I said, it would be great if I could make enough money from writing that I wouldn’t have to worry about the salary I make as a teacher.  If that were the case, then I would probably teach part-time at a private or charter school or at a university.  Until that time, I’ll probably work in public school or international schools.  Again, in a perfect world, I would make enough from writing to be able to start an educational program.

Living

I’m less concerned with where I live than I am with the type of place and the offerings nearby.  Of most importance: all four seasons, a nice little house in a nice community (nothing cookie-cutter, and the kind of place where all the kids in the neighborhood go trick-or-treating together), outdoor recreation nearby (mountains or forests or beaches or something), and a hip downtown with artistic opportunities (preferable a college town).  Northern Virginia wouldn’t be so bad if I could move closer to D.C. and find a nice neighborhood, but it’s so expensive here, and ridiculously so for a “nice” neighborhood.

Also, I don’t want all this by myself: I hope to have a family to share this life with, and kids to pass it along to, and for them to have the opportunity to keep what they like and choose different things if they want.

So, that’s the life I plan to pursue, taking whatever detours seem necessary along the way or putting my plans on hold if necessary to help my girlfriend pursue her dreams.  If I never quite make it, or it turns out completely different, that’s fine, too.

Now, let’s see how much of this sticks.

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Just Say Merry Christmas

Two weeks before Christmas, two days after we’d purchased, set up, and decorated our Christmas tree, I got a call from my realtor telling me someone was interested in the house and wanted to know if we could be out by Dec. 21st. My parents were planning on visiting for the Christmas holiday, and ten days didn’t seem like nearly enough time to pack, find an apartment, and move, but we wanted to sell so of course we said yes. My realtor hasn’t heard anything since. Sigh.

On the up side, we got to spend Christmas in the nicely-decorated house, the parents still got to visit, and the holiday was wonderful. We baked cookies, went shopping, and played games all weekend. On Christmas Eve, Thuraya’s mom, brother, and his girlfriend came for a dinner of Schweinebraten and Knoedeln, after which we did some singing around the piano, opened presents, and played more games. On Christmas Day, we drove down to Richmond to visit my Mom’s side of the family, open more gifts, eat more good food, and drive around looking at Christmas lights.

One of my favorite gifts (and a complete surprise) was the IntelliNav 3, a portable GPS that Thuraya picked out for me. I’ve decided that GPS devices are like microwaves and cell-phones: unnecessary luxuries at first, but once you get one, you’re never quite sure how you survived without it. On Saturday, we drove into D.C. to shop in Georgetown and watch Juno at the E Street Cinema–something I would never have attempted pre-GPS.

So, despite the false hope of finally selling the house, we still had a great Christmas holiday, and the pics are on Flickr to prove it.

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First Week Out

Well, it’s been one heck of a first week, and I think I hit all the big commuter issues along the way (which at least gets that special “first time” over with, I guess).

Monday: Here’s Your Office

I didn’t need to be until 9:00, but I wanted to see what the travel time would be like at my normal hour, so I arrived in Silver Spring around 7:00 and hung out at Panera for a couple of hours. Once in the building, I was introduced to my new office and spent most of the day filling out forms, getting things set up, and reviewing materials. The ride home was looong because I didn’t leave until 4:30, which put me home around 6:00. That experience made me glad my normal schedule gets me out at 3:30.

Tuesday: Here’s What You’ll Be Doing

A normal schedule, and also the day I started to figure out what my actual responsibilities would be. What has me most excited is the development of the online portal. I’m in on this at a very early stage, so I hope to contribute to big-picture, organizational discussions … just what I like.

Wednesday: Snow + D.C. = Suck

This commute was horrible. I suppose the road crews decided to believe the weather forecast, despite the teachings of past experience, so that when it started snowing at 6:00, the roads were untreated and quickly turned to ice, even on the major highways.

I was on I-495, not yet halfway to work, when my car, for no reason I can determine, decided to start spinning. I swerved into the lane to my left, corrected, spun into the lane to my right, and ended up in the middle lane facing the wrong way with headlights coming right at me. Luckily, the guy behind me had stopped in time and we stared at each other for a minute. I waited for the cars in the right lane to stop, drove to the shoulder, turned around, and crept the rest of the way to work, gripping the steering wheel with both hands like an old lady suffering from extreme paranoia. How I didn’t hit anyone or anything, I have no idea, but my arms and neck were stiff by the time I got to the office … 2 1/2 hours later. I lost count of the number of accidents I saw along the way.

Most of the other people in the office took anywhere from 2 to 4 hours to make it in, and a number decided not to try. The ride home wasn’t as bad, but painfully slow. I left around 4:00 and finally walked in the door around 6:00. I was glad to be home, and alive.

Thursday: VRE is No Guarantee

On Thursday, I had to attend a training session at L’Enfant Plaza in D.C. Rather than risk roads that might still be slick, I decided to take the Virginia Railway Express, since there’s a stop five minutes from my house and another right in L’Enfant Plaza.

It sounded like a good idea, but when I got to the station at 5:45 and saw lots of people standing around, I knew there would be trouble. Apparently, the first train had encountered “mechanical difficulties” and was 35 minutes late. So I got coffee and let the wind bite at my ears and fingers while I waited.

Then they decided to have the first train skip our stop, but the second train was 20 minutes late because of the first train. Finally, an hour after my arrival, I shoved my way onto an over-crowded train. The meeting didn’t really get started until 8:30, though, so I made it with a few minutes to spare.

On the other hand, I was released after the conference, which only went until noon, so I was home by 2:30 and ready to do some shopping for Christmas decorations.

Friday: Phone Conferences from Home

Fridays are short days for me because the company is gracious enough to release me around 2:30 so that I can be at home in time for a 4:00 conference call. (Otherwise, I’d be leaving the office at 5:00 … right in the middle of the worst time for traffic on the worst day for traffic.) Problem is, Friday rush hours start much earlier and notoriously bad, as all the fed-workers leave early and rush out of town, so I got home later than the call. Luckily, I didn’t miss much (and, let’s face it, the “first week” guy isn’t exactly essential to the conversation). By 4:30, the weekend could begin.

And that was the first week. I promise, none of the other weeks will be this detailed again.

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Now That I'm Out

So, I’ve just accepted a new job, and it’s not in the field of education, though it’s really only a stone’s throw away. Still, for me, this is a big, and unexpected, change. Unexpected because, according to my original plans, I should be wandering around New Zealand right now. But when houses don’t sell …

At any rate, the job is with JBS International, a contracting agency that focuses on health and social services. My title is “training coordinator,” though my actual duties are pretty varied. I’ll be working on the Child Welfare Project, primarily with the Child and Family Services Reviews (CFSR) that JBS has contracted through the Children’s Bureau. In short, the CFSR process is working to assess and improve the child welfare system, and JBS is providing support for that process. My job will include organizing some of the training sessions, conducting some of the automated training (where participants learn to use the electronic database to record case information), and helping to develop the transition to an online, portal-based solution for the project, including an e-training platform and online document management. My understanding is that they’re building the portal on Drupal, with which I have some familiarity, so that should be interesting.

The only drawback (besides the loss of snow days and the ridiculously-long vacations) is the commute. If you’re familiar with the D.C. area, I don’t need to explain. If you’re not, just be thankful. I’m up at 5:00 in the morning, out the door by 6:00, and usually at my desk around 7:00 in order to avoid the worst of the traffic. On the plus side, I can usually leave the office around 3:30 in the afternoon so that I can make it home by 4:30 or 5:00. If I get really lucky, I might be able to telecommute one day a week … hope, hope.

Another unexpected result of being “out” of education is that I get to think about where I’m heading and what’s important from a different perspective … and with fewer constraints. I’ll probably be writing about some of that eventually.

Next, the story of week one …

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